Soon-to-be-former-Prime Minister Gordon Brown has some advice for us all. As with all of his 'advice', it's really just a reminder of how wonderful he is, what great job he's done and how utterly terrible the evil Tories would be.
And, so that as many people as possible can understand him, he - well, one of his army of spin doctors - has cleverly phrased it in the form of an analogy. Oh yes.
Drawing a parallel between the battered economy and the injured millionaire ball-kicker Wayne Rooney, the PM said:
"..after an injury you need support to recover, you need support to get back to
match fitness, you need support to get back your full strength and then go on to
lift the World Cup.
"So with the economy - we're not back to full
fitness, we need to maintain support,"
"If we try and jump off the
treatment table as if nothing had happened we'll do more damage to the economy -
and frankly that means we risk a double-dip recession.
"I think that's a
risk we can't afford to take"
Oooooh. See what he did there? Well, thanks for patronising advice, Gordo'.
But let CF extend and enhance your little analogy.
Imagine that in a football match, the captain of the other team, a big Scottish, one-eyed thug, kicked you as hard as he could, right in the balls.
Then, as you crumpled to the ground gasping, kneed you in the face, breaking your nose.
Then deliberately stamped on your head, raking his studs across your face.
Then, before the referee got there, whipped open his shorts and pissed all over your recumbent form.
Would you then like him to follow you to the hospital, offering the doctors advice on your treatment, and helping out with the stitching of your wounds?
Probably not, eh?
I agree with Constantly Furious, Gordon Brown has fouled us, kicked us and bled us dry.